HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN (see men below) AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT :

1. She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED

AMERICAN.

2. She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY

APPRECIATIVE.

3. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.

4. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE

INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

5. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY

ENJOYED COMPANION.

6. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

7. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets

CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

8. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is

MEDICALLY ENHANCED.

9. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY

REPETITIVE.

10. She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.

11. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is

PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.

12. She is not a TWO-BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST

PROVIDER.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT :

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a

LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.

2. He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He

INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

 

4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

5. He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers

GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS

6. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes

ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

7. He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a

case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.

8. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE

EMPATHY.

9. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is

MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED

10. He is not HORNY - He is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.

11. It's not his CRACK you see hanging out of the

back of his pants....It is MALE CLEAVAGE